gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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