I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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