why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
