i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
