Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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