the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
