I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
