I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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