i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i now understand why vodka
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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