He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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