why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
