So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
