The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
