I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
