Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
