**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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