Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
