69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
