I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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