It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
