once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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