Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
