i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
