She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
