I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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