GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
