your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
