I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
