i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
