): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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