Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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