all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
