How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
