Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I just forgot I was standing up.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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