whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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