Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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