How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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