i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Are my feet made of real feet?
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Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
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If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.