They should really pass out barf bags in church
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
