I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
