I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
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The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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