all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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