i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
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We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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