Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
