Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
