I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
