Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
