That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
