So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
