Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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