Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
