Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Randomize
