i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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