I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
