Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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